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Surviving Divorce

This article touches on the topic of life after divorce and how to survive it ...

If you think that filing for divorce is just the worst thing that can happen in a marriage, wait until it is final and things which used to seem routine suddenly seem to present a problem. The worst part of the divorce is not actually filing for divorce, it's what happens in the days, weeks, and even months following the act of filing for divorce.

Divorce has a way of consuming your life. It becomes who you are. You are now a 'divorced' individual (i.e. a divorcee) or 'single again' but perhaps you didn't want that title and now you are finding it harder than you thought to move on with your life. Simple things such as going to the grocery store or to a nearby deli where you used to go together now stings you with the thought of even driving by the physical building.

Divorce is one of the adult things which children don't need to know much about, yet there are so many activities that involve your children where you will find that you miss talking to your spouse about. You will miss sitting at ballgames with your ex and later when your children graduate, you'll be consumed with what ifs. While divorce shouldn't continue to pounce on your heart, it will still break your heart from time to time and you will have to learn to deal with it as much as you possibly can.

The best way to get past a broken heart is to find a way to move on with your life solo. You probably haven't had a lot of time to do things you want to do while involved in a marriage, so now is the perfect time to go do the things you want to do and don't worry about what your ex or anyone else thinks or says about it. So often, married individuals went from their parents' home straight into a home of wedded bliss and the chance to be an individual is lost. Look at your divorce as an opportunity to move forward by yourself doing the things that you always wanted to do but never had the opportunity to do.

If you don't have children, you may want to think about moving, because sometimes this will help you to move on a little bit better than if you are staying in the same hometown where you and your spouse lived. Taking a well deserved vacation is also something that you may want to do and given the opportunity you said you would do it, so do it.

Divorce doesn't have to be a death sentence, instead it can be a new life sentence and you may discover that you really enjoy being single. Many adults, after divorce, never re-marry and much of the reason is because they decide they actually like being single.

For more information about separation and divorce, see the "resources" section of this website, or go to articles about divorce.