A Guide To Love And Relationships
A Look At The Dynamics Of Love & Relationships In The Modern World
Commitment in Love and Relationships
Being capable of committing oneself is required, since love and relationship is built on commitment. Commitment is a promise. Commitment requires the ability to uphold promises made to another individual. The wedding vows at one time committed two in matrimony, thus committing them to love one another through thick and thin, better or worse, sickness and health and until death ended their love.
When a person commits to another, they are targeting the person’s mentality and emotions when failure occurs, since commitment is a consignment to a disciplinary or mental institution. Thus, joining in marriage or relationships outside of marriage, or even in friendship, commitment is the element that initiates the arrangement.
Once the persons fall together whether words are crossed, the parties are saying by their actions, “I commit myself to you.” Although friendships differ than marriages or intimate relationships, still a level of commitment exists. Marriages have obvious commitments; however, failures occur when one or the other fails to adhere to their promise to love until death does them apart. Often, disrespect of one or the other, lack of trust and communication will breakdown a relationship, or commitment.
Looking at examples could help you to see failure in different types of relationships and help you to appreciate the elements required to make a relationship work. One example of a surefire failing relationship is visual in the following illustration.
Two join in a relationship. The woman had a disturbing past, consisting of abuse, neglect and degradation. The man has a disturbing background; however, the severity of the woman’s past far succeeds that of the man's. The two share emptiness inside when they meet, with one considering lust and desire while the other is considering love. The woman is beautiful in physical form, thus the man desires her and they join in intimacy. The woman is seeking love, however she finds the man unattractive, yet handy since she feels he can help her escape a nasty relationship in existence. Thus, together they join and later marry since a child is born. The woman disrespects the man since he is obviously an alcoholic, but she fails to see that he also sells and administers drugs. The woman is naïve to drug addicts and seller, thus she continues seeing the man on occasions until the baby is born and finally the two take of residence together.
Finally, marriage is required since the two join a religious group that enforces marriage rather than relationships outside of marriage. The woman thinks, “I will marry this monster,” as she rushes out of her workplace to join her mate in marriage. She stops at the liquor store to pick up a bottle of Vodka and rushes home to dress. The two are marrying at the Justice of Peace, and when she arrives, her mind is in a whirl. The night of their marriage the man is too drunk to join her in their honeymoon, thus she becomes angry and storms out of the room. For the next six months, she ponders on annulment, seeking out advice from her friends. The marriage continues. The woman comes to terms that she will do her up most to make the relationship work. Over time, she develops a natural love for her husband and works effortless to please him and make the relationship last with him abandoning the family and drinking every day. Over time, the woman finds that he is selling drugs, administering drugs and soliciting prostitution. She decides she had enough and applies for a divorce, even when doubt lingers in her mind.
The two finally divorce after the man abuses her for applying for a divorce and over time, the two never see each other again. Now, the man loved her. He loved the way she looked, how she performed in the bedroom and how her behaviors worked to make their marriage stand for more than three years. The woman illustrated patience and long-suffering, however commitment was lacking. Therefore, we see a lack of communication, commitment, long-suffering, respect, thrust, loyalty, faithfulness, and so on, thus the relationship was a surefire failure. Controlling love and relationships often fail as well.
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Love and Relationships - Battling More Romance Myths
Sometimes holding on to the myths and old-fashioned views of relationships and marriage are all that hold couples back from having a truly wonderfully fulfilling and happy relationship. It is important to recognize your spouse and his or her own special individual with so much to offer you and your relationship if you love, support and respect your partner. Encouraging your partner through support, understanding and appreciation are crucial to breaking through stereotypes and the myths that surround relationships between men and women. Working through and dismissing that type of information as old-fashioned, irrelevant and flat-out wrong can open doors in your marriage you didn’t even know were closed.
When things become tense between you and your partner, keep in mind some of the stereotypes you might be clinging to and work to dispel them from your psyche. For example, if one of you or both of you believe that romance is the best way to hide or disguise your faults, it simply isn’t the case. Someone who is not a nice person doesn’t miraculously change because they present their spouse with flowers. That spouse still isn’t a nice person. Romantic gestures may disguise some faults for a short time, but a person’s true self always come through. If you are realistic about who you are and your expectations of each other, then romance can work wonders to improve your relationship.
If you give them an inch, they’ll take a mile and if you married them you most likely would have seen it by now. There isn’t any truth to this particular saying and it only sets us up to be suspicious of someone who really hasn’t done anything in order to earn our suspicion. If you give a little bit consistently, you will be satisfying your partner and they won’t need that extra. If you don’t ever give or give so infrequently that your efforts are forgotten, your spouse has every right to demand a mile from you. Give him or her an inch and enjoy the journey down the rest of the mile together.
If you think that once you marry someone that you can change him or her, you are in for a rude awakening. You cannot change a person, yet you can make an impact on how they may see things, you can help them adjust to new or unfamiliar ways of thinking and you can always resort to manipulation, but nothing will change or even fix your spouse. Never manipulate or push your partner into a direction he or she resists. You may be the one who needs to alter his or her way of thinking or viewing things. You may be able to do that on your own or require the help of a therapist in order to show you the skills you need for better understanding and acceptance of you and your spouse. If you feel there are problems between you and your spouse due to personality conflicts, try working together to learn how to express thoughts and feelings better and more productively. If you are both in love, you will find the romance in there somewhere. The best place to start is usually at the beginning with the basics. |
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