A Guide To Love And Relationships
A Look At The Dynamics Of Love &
Relationships In The Modern World
Controlling Love in
Relationships
Why do people stay with mates that
control and dominate them, thus taking a large measure of
their freedom in relationships? The obvious answer is
that the person lacks self-esteem and confidence and may
feel that he or she cannot find love elsewhere. Children
often link mates together even if one of the partners is
controlling and dominating the other.
Are men mostly domineering and
controlling? No. Women can be domineering and controlling
as well, and I have analyzed two case scenarios where the
women in the relationship had full control. In
one case, a woman coming from a background of abuse
met her soul mate through friends. The two joined and
together they had six children combined. The woman who
penalized them with threats if they failed to adhere to
her demands controlled all the children and
mate.
Although in this relationship the man was
not permitted to look at women at first, nor was, he was
allowed to watch television programs at leisure. Sure,
men in relationships, or else good men will not have
wondering eyes, or else engage in activities that cause
others harm, such as pornographic materials. Still, he
had no room to show her that he had only the best
intentions for their relationship. Later throughout the
relationship, she showed leniency, but still the woman
controlled the home.
Some women are passive yet still control
in different methods. While the first woman enforced
threats to control the home, another woman used
mechanisms of human nature to control her relationships.
She was a skilled manipulator and controller, whereas she
undermined the men she had relationships with. The woman
was adulterous, a manipulator and an outstanding liar if
one was not smart to her tricks. Through lies and
manipulation, the woman controlled the men she had
relationships with, and when the men would not adhere to
her demands she would throw temper tantrums, or else
become violent.
The woman was a lousy mother, since she
showed no regard to her children and used them to control
the men she engaged in relationships with. Throughout her
history, she had trials of promiscuous behaviors, violent
behaviors, and a history of deceit.
While this is a couple of case scenarios
of controlling and dominating relationships, men from
afar have been in relationships showing controlling and
domineering traits far more than women. Not all men are
controlling and domineering, but the men that illustrate
such behaviors are often violent predatory humans. The
men that control or dominate will often use violence,
threats, manipulation, lies, and other hasty mechanisms
to control the mate. Often these types are unfaithful,
and will make up all types of excuses for their unnatural
behaviors.
Therefore, when joining in a relationship
it is wise to know what you are getting into before you
make commitments. Some relationships start out with one
partner controlling the other through manipulation and
the mate fails to see the signs and realizes what happens
when a trail of harm starts and finishes in deeper
conditions. Thus, the mate may start out telling the
partner what she or he wants to hear to lower the person
into their web of control, deceit, and domination. Other
times the mate may act as though they are not interested
in the mate, especially if the mate is attracted to the
person.
Heed warning, since controlling and
dominating relationships leave a string of victims
throughout the term of the relationship, and sometimes
the victim is unable to leave the relationship since the
mate may threaten family members, friends, or else the
mate. Other times the mate never gets out, since death
was the ultimate result of the controlling and dominating
relationship.
If a man or woman is controlling you, it
is unlikely the person will change. Some people stay in
dominating and controlling relationships believing the
person will change once the mate shows them love. Other
dominating and controlling relationships continue since
the partner makes the mate feel like no one else wants
them. They often under mind and belittle the partner,
until the self-esteem and confidence is zip. If you are
in a controlling and dominating relationship, you may
want to consider steps of leaving your partner behind.
Thus, dirty love and relationships lead to
harm.
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Love
and Relationships - Getting Back To The Basics Of Love And
Romance
Almost every love story has
the potential to begin as if it were a fairy
tale. “Once upon a time, two people fell
passionately in love and their love was unlike
any others before theirs.” Relationship
beginnings are wonderful and they can
experience a ‘rebirth’ with a wedding,
honeymoon and the exciting first year of
marriage. Once a couple begins to grow
and their lives change with jobs, children,
social activities and other commitments, the
love and romance becomes more difficult to
attend to. Sometimes love and romance
seem to be lost altogether. This destiny
is not unavoidable if you want to rekindle the
passion or simply bring it to a new level by
becoming a hopeless romantic.
When you want to ignite the
passion in your relationship but you aren’t
sure what you need to do, the best place to
begin is at the beginning. Think about
the things that you used to do for your partner
at the beginning of your relationship. If
you don’t remember or never tried to be a true
romantic, don’t worry. It’s not difficult
and once you begin you will find that you will
get your own new ideas after a
while.
Most new relationships or new
beginnings rely on the ‘little’ things to show
love and affection. Be sure to remember
special ‘couple’ days like Valentine’s Day,
Anniversaries and even the date you met if
possible. Be sure to send a meaningful
gift or just a dozen roses and a box of
chocolates to celebrate your feelings for your
partner. Women can do exactly the same
thing for men here. Not many men can
resist candy!
You may not consider yourself
to be a writer, but writing your partner a long
love letter with your thoughts about how you
feel for the other person is one of the most
touching ways to spark romance. If you
aren’t comfortable writing a letter, consider
making lists about what you love the most about
your partner. Lists can be about the
things they do that makes you laugh, what they
do for you that you appreciate, how they make
you feel inside, how beautiful or handsome they
are and other very personal but attentive
details.
Call your partner and talk
softly and loving. If he or she isn’t
able to answer the phone, leave loving messages
on their voice mail or answering machine.
Talk dirty when you know that he or she can’t
return the same conversation on the other
end.
Sometimes couples feel more
comfortable trying to bring romance into their
relationship by bestowing gifts on their
partner. While classics like flowers,
candy and perfume or cologne are almost always
successful gifts, try ‘giving’ something
different. Make plans to go see every
romantic movie that comes to the theater during
the year. Bring home a bottle of
champagne to celebrate even the tiniest
accomplishment he or she has had.
Randomly send romantic and/or humorous greeting
cards to his or her workplace or hide them
under the bed pillows at home.
These suggestions are simply
ideas to get you started in your effort to
bring romance and love to a new level in your
marriage. You may have your own ideas and
those are most likely better than anything
offered here. Once you open the door to
romance in your marriage and begin to build a
foundation for future romance, you are ready to
move to even more creative levels of
romance.
When entering into the world
of romance with your spouse, you should always
keep in mind that something you may find
romantic may not be romantic to your
partner. This is often due to the
differences between the preferences and thought
processes of men and women.
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The article series "A Guide To
Love and Relationships: A Look At The Dynamics Of Love &
Relationships In The Modern World" continues on the next
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