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A Guide To Love And Relationships

A Look At The Dynamics Of Love & Relationships In The Modern World

Controlling Love in Relationships

Why do people stay with mates that control and dominate them, thus taking a large measure of their freedom in relationships? The obvious answer is that the person lacks self-esteem and confidence and may feel that he or she cannot find love elsewhere. Children often link mates together even if one of the partners is controlling and dominating the other.

Are men mostly domineering and controlling? No. Women can be domineering and controlling as well, and I have analyzed two case scenarios where the women in the relationship had full control. In one case, a woman coming from a background of abuse met her soul mate through friends. The two joined and together they had six children combined. The woman who penalized them with threats if they failed to adhere to her demands controlled all the children and mate.

Although in this relationship the man was not permitted to look at women at first, nor was, he was allowed to watch television programs at leisure. Sure, men in relationships, or else good men will not have wondering eyes, or else engage in activities that cause others harm, such as pornographic materials. Still, he had no room to show her that he had only the best intentions for their relationship. Later throughout the relationship, she showed leniency, but still the woman controlled the home.

Some women are passive yet still control in different methods. While the first woman enforced threats to control the home, another woman used mechanisms of human nature to control her relationships. She was a skilled manipulator and controller, whereas she undermined the men she had relationships with. The woman was adulterous, a manipulator and an outstanding liar if one was not smart to her tricks. Through lies and manipulation, the woman controlled the men she had relationships with, and when the men would not adhere to her demands she would throw temper tantrums, or else become violent.

The woman was a lousy mother, since she showed no regard to her children and used them to control the men she engaged in relationships with. Throughout her history, she had trials of promiscuous behaviors, violent behaviors, and a history of deceit.

While this is a couple of case scenarios of controlling and dominating relationships, men from afar have been in relationships showing controlling and domineering traits far more than women. Not all men are controlling and domineering, but the men that illustrate such behaviors are often violent predatory humans. The men that control or dominate will often use violence, threats, manipulation, lies, and other hasty mechanisms to control the mate. Often these types are unfaithful, and will make up all types of excuses for their unnatural behaviors.

Therefore, when joining in a relationship it is wise to know what you are getting into before you make commitments. Some relationships start out with one partner controlling the other through manipulation and the mate fails to see the signs and realizes what happens when a trail of harm starts and finishes in deeper conditions. Thus, the mate may start out telling the partner what she or he wants to hear to lower the person into their web of control, deceit, and domination. Other times the mate may act as though they are not interested in the mate, especially if the mate is attracted to the person.

Heed warning, since controlling and dominating relationships leave a string of victims throughout the term of the relationship, and sometimes the victim is unable to leave the relationship since the mate may threaten family members, friends, or else the mate. Other times the mate never gets out, since death was the ultimate result of the controlling and dominating relationship.

If a man or woman is controlling you, it is unlikely the person will change. Some people stay in dominating and controlling relationships believing the person will change once the mate shows them love. Other dominating and controlling relationships continue since the partner makes the mate feel like no one else wants them. They often under mind and belittle the partner, until the self-esteem and confidence is zip. If you are in a controlling and dominating relationship, you may want to consider steps of leaving your partner behind. Thus, dirty love and relationships lead to harm.

Love and Relationships - Getting Back To The Basics Of Love And Romance

Almost every love story has the potential to begin as if it were a fairy tale.  “Once upon a time, two people fell passionately in love and their love was unlike any others before theirs.”  Relationship beginnings are wonderful and they can experience a ‘rebirth’ with a wedding, honeymoon and the exciting first year of marriage.  Once a couple begins to grow and their lives change with jobs, children, social activities and other commitments, the love and romance becomes more difficult to attend to.  Sometimes love and romance seem to be lost altogether.  This destiny is not unavoidable if you want to rekindle the passion or simply bring it to a new level by becoming a hopeless romantic.

When you want to ignite the passion in your relationship but you aren’t sure what you need to do, the best place to begin is at the beginning.  Think about the things that you used to do for your partner at the beginning of your relationship.  If you don’t remember or never tried to be a true romantic, don’t worry.  It’s not difficult and once you begin you will find that you will get your own new ideas after a while.

Most new relationships or new beginnings rely on the ‘little’ things to show love and affection.  Be sure to remember special ‘couple’ days like Valentine’s Day, Anniversaries and even the date you met if possible.  Be sure to send a meaningful gift or just a dozen roses and a box of chocolates to celebrate your feelings for your partner.  Women can do exactly the same thing for men here.  Not many men can resist candy!

You may not consider yourself to be a writer, but writing your partner a long love letter with your thoughts about how you feel for the other person is one of the most touching ways to spark romance.  If you aren’t comfortable writing a letter, consider making lists about what you love the most about your partner.  Lists can be about the things they do that makes you laugh, what they do for you that you appreciate, how they make you feel inside, how beautiful or handsome they are and other very personal but attentive details.

Call your partner and talk softly and loving.  If he or she isn’t able to answer the phone, leave loving messages on their voice mail or answering machine.  Talk dirty when you know that he or she can’t return the same conversation on the other end. 

Sometimes couples feel more comfortable trying to bring romance into their relationship by bestowing gifts on their partner.  While classics like flowers, candy and perfume or cologne are almost always successful gifts, try ‘giving’ something different.  Make plans to go see every romantic movie that comes to the theater during the year.  Bring home a bottle of champagne to celebrate even the tiniest accomplishment he or she has had.  Randomly send romantic and/or humorous greeting cards to his or her workplace or hide them under the bed pillows at home.

These suggestions are simply ideas to get you started in your effort to bring romance and love to a new level in your marriage.  You may have your own ideas and those are most likely better than anything offered here.  Once you open the door to romance in your marriage and begin to build a foundation for future romance, you are ready to move to even more creative levels of romance.

When entering into the world of romance with your spouse, you should always keep in mind that something you may find romantic may not be romantic to your partner.  This is often due to the differences between the preferences and thought processes of men and women.


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