A Guide To Love And Relationships
A Look At The Dynamics Of Love &
Relationships In The Modern World
Commitment in Love and
Relationships
Being capable of committing oneself is
required, since love and relationship is built on
commitment. Commitment is a promise. Commitment requires
the ability to uphold promises made to another
individual. The wedding vows at one time committed two in
matrimony, thus committing them to love one another
through thick and thin, better or worse, sickness and
health and until death ended their
love.
When a person commits to another, they
are targeting the person’s mentality and emotions when failure
occurs, since commitment is a consignment to a
disciplinary or mental institution. Thus, joining
in marriage or relationships outside of marriage, or even in
friendship, commitment is the element that initiates the
arrangement.
Once the persons fall together whether
words are crossed, the parties are saying by their
actions, “I commit myself to you.” Although friendships
differ than marriages or intimate relationships, still a
level of commitment exists. Marriages have obvious
commitments; however, failures occur when one or the
other fails to adhere to their promise to love until
death does them apart. Often, disrespect of one or the
other, lack of trust and communication will breakdown a
relationship, or commitment.
Looking at examples could help you to see
failure in different types of relationships and help you
to appreciate the elements required to make a
relationship work. One example of a surefire failing
relationship is visual in the following
illustration.
Two join in a relationship. The woman had
a disturbing past, consisting of abuse, neglect and
degradation. The man has a disturbing background;
however, the severity of the woman’s past far succeeds
that of the man's. The two share emptiness inside when
they meet, with one considering lust and desire while the
other is considering love. The woman is beautiful in
physical form, thus the man desires her and they join in
intimacy. The woman is seeking love, however she finds
the man unattractive, yet handy since she feels he can
help her escape a nasty relationship in existence. Thus,
together they join and later marry since a child is born.
The woman disrespects the man since he is obviously an
alcoholic, but she fails to see that he also sells and
administers drugs. The woman is naïve to drug addicts and
seller, thus she continues seeing the man on occasions
until the baby is born and finally the two take of
residence together.
Finally, marriage is required since the
two join a religious group that enforces marriage rather
than relationships outside of marriage. The woman thinks,
“I will marry this monster,” as she rushes out of her
workplace to join her mate in marriage. She stops at the
liquor store to pick up a bottle of Vodka and rushes home
to dress. The two are marrying at the Justice of Peace,
and when she arrives, her mind is in a whirl. The night
of their marriage the man is too drunk to join her in
their honeymoon, thus she becomes angry and storms out of
the room. For the next six months, she ponders on
annulment, seeking out advice from her friends. The
marriage continues. The woman comes to terms that she
will do her up most to make the relationship work. Over
time, she develops a natural love for her husband and
works effortless to please him and make the relationship
last with him abandoning the family and drinking every
day. Over time, the woman finds that he is selling drugs,
administering drugs and soliciting prostitution. She
decides she had enough and applies for a divorce, even
when doubt lingers in her mind.
The two finally divorce after the man
abuses her for applying for a divorce and over time, the
two never see each other again. Now, the man loved her.
He loved the way she looked, how she performed in the
bedroom and how her behaviors worked to make their
marriage stand for more than three years. The woman
illustrated patience and long-suffering, however
commitment was lacking. Therefore, we see a lack of
communication, commitment, long-suffering, respect,
thrust, loyalty, faithfulness, and so on, thus the
relationship was a surefire failure. Controlling love and
relationships often fail as well.
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Love
and Relationships - Battling More Romance
Myths
Sometimes holding on to the
myths and old-fashioned views of relationships
and marriage are all that hold couples back
from having a truly wonderfully fulfilling and
happy relationship. It is important to
recognize your spouse and his or her own
special individual with so much to offer you
and your relationship if you love, support and
respect your partner. Encouraging your
partner through support, understanding and
appreciation are crucial to breaking through
stereotypes and the myths that surround
relationships between men and women.
Working through and dismissing that type of
information as old-fashioned, irrelevant and
flat-out wrong can open doors in your marriage
you didn’t even know were closed.
When things become tense
between you and your partner, keep in mind some
of the stereotypes you might be clinging to and
work to dispel them from your psyche. For
example, if one of you or both of you believe
that romance is the best way to hide or
disguise your faults, it simply isn’t the
case. Someone who is not a nice person
doesn’t miraculously change because they
present their spouse with flowers. That
spouse still isn’t a nice person.
Romantic gestures may disguise some faults for
a short time, but a person’s true self always
come through. If you are realistic about
who you are and your expectations of each
other, then romance can work wonders to improve
your relationship.
If you give them an inch,
they’ll take a mile and if you married them you
most likely would have seen it by now.
There isn’t any truth to this particular saying
and it only sets us up to be suspicious of
someone who really hasn’t done anything in
order to earn our suspicion. If you give
a little bit consistently, you will be
satisfying your partner and they won’t need
that extra. If you don’t ever give or
give so infrequently that your efforts are
forgotten, your spouse has every right to
demand a mile from you. Give him or her
an inch and enjoy the journey down the rest of
the mile together.
If you think that once you
marry someone that you can change him or her,
you are in for a rude awakening. You
cannot change a person, yet you can make an
impact on how they may see things, you can help
them adjust to new or unfamiliar ways of
thinking and you can always resort to
manipulation, but nothing will change or even
fix your spouse. Never manipulate or push
your partner into a direction he or she
resists. You may be the one who needs to
alter his or her way of thinking or viewing
things. You may be able to do that on
your own or require the help of a therapist in
order to show you the skills you need for
better understanding and acceptance of you and
your spouse. If you feel there are
problems between you and your spouse due to
personality conflicts, try working together to
learn how to express thoughts and feelings
better and more productively. If you are
both in love, you will find the romance in
there somewhere. The best place to start
is usually at the beginning with the
basics.
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The article series "A Guide To
Love and Relationships: A Look At The Dynamics Of Love &
Relationships In The Modern World" continues on the next
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resources on all aspects of love and relationships, please
visit the "resources" section of this
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