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Divorcing Your Best Friend

If divorce is hard enough to go through, then surely divorcing your best friend must be even harder, as the author of this article reveals ...

Nothing could be worse than a divorce except when you know that you are divorcing your best friend. Not only are you losing your spouse but you are losing the person who you confide in, do fun activities with and have known for most of your adult life. What do you do and how do you move on?

First, you must realize that it is over. The friendship as you knew it is gone. The marriage, for whatever reason didn't work out and the friendship is no longer possible. At least on the level of where it was prior to marriage and divorce. However, there is no reason why you can't move on and still remain friends.

Many divorces end in friendships but you just have to know where to draw the line so that the friendship doesn't prohibit one or both parties from moving on into a productive romantic relationship. Sometimes, both people can move on with understanding significant others who understand the odd relationship of a continued friendship among ex-spouses but sometimes they can not and will not agree to a situation which involves outings with an ex.

While divorcing your best friend can be very painful for each person, it is important to move on separately if at all possible. You can still do things together if you are determined to make a friendship work but recognize that this is going to be on a different level and that other people will eventually be a part of the friendship unit.

Discussing your divorce openly and deciding together as a couple separating and as friends, how you would like to see the relationship in several months and several years down the road can help prevent hurt feelings later on after the divorce.

Divorcing your spouse should never be taken lightly. However, if you are divorcing a childhood friend where families have been lifelong friends, then you have many people to consider and relationships to protect.

Marriage counselors can often help you resolve the underlying problems which you may not know exist in the marriage if you aren't sure you want to divorce. In fact, before you throw away years in the making of a relationship and a marriage, seek counseling and advice from someone who can help you put things into perspective. It may also help to talk to your families together if you think your marriage can be saved. Often, when you are dealing with a lifetime of history together, it is most painful to discard a marriage.

Remaining friends is probably inevitable if there are family connections but both people in the marriage must figure out a way to get past the dissolution of the marriage once other people become involved after the final divorce. Planning ahead will keep everyone involved happy and emotionally prepared for the future. And you most certainly don't want to hurt the person you must've loved the majority of your lifetime.

For more information about separation and divorce, see the "resources" section of this website, or go to articles about divorce.