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Divorce and Infidelity

In this article we examine some of the main issues around divorce and infidelity ...

Divorce is most bitter when it is because of adultery. There's no way around it. Hurt feelings and anger seem to fuel the divorce but rage surrounds it and it causes too much animosity for all parties concerned.  Unfortunately, infidelity is often the main cause for divorce. However, there are ways to get through it and move on with your life.

Divorcing your spouse is one of the most trying times in your life. You may have heard it said that the person would've rather experienced death than divorce. Add in the cause for divorce as being adultery, and the pain is often too much to bear.

Adulterous relationships almost never work out in the long run so if you are the victim in the relationship, then find comfort in that fact. However, many times your spouse doesn't want a divorce but they don't want to give up their other relationship. You must move on irregardless. Otherwise, the hurt will become a very big part of your relationship and will consume you.

While some relationships go on to thrive after infidelity, you may be surprised if you do your own research about adultery. Once it starts, it seldom ends because there is often something that the other person needs and they weren't finding it at home before an affair and they likely won't find it after the initial affair.

It is also important to remember that while approaching the 'other woman' or the 'other man' may make you feel better, there is no reason for you to approach them. It is likely they knew your spouse was indeed married and the only thing the other person will shed light on is how much that they know about your relationship with your spouse which will only cause you more pain.

Divorcing because of adultery, regardless of what you are told by a psychologist, is a very viable option and you need to do it. Seldom will you find life after adultery fulfilling. Your spouse may, but who cares. He or she is not worth your self-esteem being lowered. While you may want to work things out and that is very noble of you to show a forgiving heart, things will never be the same. And you will never have the key elements of marriage again.

While you may find this key piece of advice comical, there is only one way to get past the element of adultery if you decide to stay in a marriage after infidelity and that is to have an affair yourself and make sure your husband or wife knows about it. Then, when they ask why or how you could do this to them ask for forgiveness, be sincere in your sorrow for hurting them and then assure them that you can get past it. See if they can live with it and make the most of a new start. The other person won't like the feelings of betrayal anymore than you did.

For more information about separation and divorce, see the "resources" section of this website, or go to articles about divorce.